Missing Story of a Mary Sue
by ZoSanFreakX
Summary: The world of Tintin is messed up. Everyone is OOC all because of a teenage girl who decided to write a story. CONTAINS MARY SUE AND OOC-NESS. Parody of the Infamous "My Immortal
1. Warning!

Felt that this needed it's own chapter because some idiots will ignore it if I put it just as a authors note.

Yes, I know I have brought a horrible creature into the world of Tintin. This creature is called a Mary Sue. Why oh why would I do this? You may be asking yourself this but the answer is simple, All of the OC's that have been created into this fandom are surprisingly _good. _Not that I was accepting bad things from Tintin fanfiction writers but in almost every fandom there are Mary Sues. So far I haven't seen any in Tintin fanfiction. So I wanted to distory that and create a Mary Sue that will make Tara (The girl who created the infamous "My Immortal" ) look like Shakespeare and Ebony look like something Charlie Sheen created. (Maybe Charlie Sheen is Tara...)

I am also aware that Tintin, Captain Haddock and all the other cannon character will be very OOC. That is part of having a Mary Sue that everyone loves. There will be other characters of my creation based of of my friends (like most Mary Sue writers tend to do). Tintin will properly be the most OOC of them all. If you don't like this, Don't read and don't flame because I do know Tintin, I have read the comics, seen the cartoons and watched the movie so I know what happens in Tintin.

If I still get flames and i've wrote this, I will find you and KILL YOU! I have wrote this chapter to WARN YOU!


	2. Beautiful, Dirty, Rich

**A/N: remember KIDS I AM WRITING THE MARY SUE AND THE OOC-NESS ON PURPOSE! This will contain quotes from songs, quotes from my Immortal and badly thought out sex. Remember kids, Mary Sues don't need plots.**

**S/N: Tanks to ma BBF4LIFE Ambs for da story (Hr acount name is DesireeVonWolf. She is god but Me is better MWHAHAAHAHA) She gave me some of tha ideas for ma story. I LOVE LADY GAGA!**

Once upon a time in Belgium lived a beautiful girl named Ice, Ice Hot Cold Water Dance Magic Love. She was Beautiful and an Angel to all who crossed her path. She had the most beautiful blue hair with red highlights that reached down to her mid waist. It flowed and danced in the wind, it was so elegant that it made the queen cry. Her eyes were like diamonds but 20 times more beautiful. They were blue like the sea but 10 times more peaceful. Her face made all the boys want to have sex with her and all the woman ethier hated or envied her or turn lesbian so they can have sex with her. Her breasts were so round and so big that they have been in the Guinness book of world records for being the the worlds most perfect boobies, They juggled up and down when she walked and she had th perfect clevlage that you could ski down. (If some1 gets tats ref I luv ya 4ever) She has the type of body that made mother nature look repulsive and makes teenage girls want to be anorexic. She was so skinny that you could see her rib cage but it didn't matter because she was still beautiful. Her ass was as juicy as a tomato. Her legs were so long and hairless that even woman wanted to feel her up. She is a journalist in Belgium and is head of writing articles. Her articles are even better than Tintin's and everyone who read them would agree that she is the better writer.

S/N: PLZ TELL ME IF YOU LIKE ER!

**A/N: Well heres my Mary Sue. There will be a story .. soon. Flames are welcome, unless its like "NO Tats a mry su." .. I intended her to be. It's a Parody. Say it with me P-A-R-O-D-Y**


	3. Alejandro

**A/N: I REGRET NOTHING! Exsept this Chapter ..**

**S/N: OMGZ GUYS SOP WIF DA FLAMES! HER NAME IS ICE NOT MARY SU OK! This chap has romandce kk? Again Spesal tanks to Ambs 4 reviwing! YA ROX (DesireeVonWolf. Go ceak her acount oot)**

Ice Cold Hot Water Dance Magic Love was with her BBF Desiree Cat Dog Gaga Queen Ziggy Armadillo Von Wolf`(Dat's You Ambs!) were walking through belgium. Ice was wearing a Lady Gaga tee and a skirt that showed her cute butt. Desiree was wearing a black hoodie with BVB on it (She is goffik if you don't know) she was also wearing skinny jeans and black pumps. She was wearing white foundation and black lipstick

"OMG ICE OD IS HAVING A CONCERT IN BELGIUM," Desiree squeled excitedly

"OMFG I LOVE OD, THEY ARE FUCKING HOTTIES," I screemed so much that a bunch of tree huggers stared at me so I stuck my middle finger at them. Desiree scoffed and laughed. Suddenly I banged into a guy and fell ripping my Lady Gaga tee and I scarpped ma knee.

"FUCKING BASTARD." I screemed getting up to see Tintin and his dog Snowy. Snowy took a liking to me and started to jump up at me exsitingly. I gazed over at Tintin though.

"Hi," I said

"Hey," Tintin said sexyly (A/N: THAT WAS PAINFUL TO WRITE.. I'm sorry but Tintin is not a type to say thing.. Sexually)

"What's up," I said

"Nothing," He said shyly (A/N: He also has active mood swings. Welcome to a very Sexual and mood swingy Tintin -_- )

I heard Desiree call on me so I had to walk away.

**S/N:** OMFG tey are sooooooo in luv aint they.

**A/N: ** BWHAHAH I fuck up minds because I am like that. I hope you are enjoying my sue filled adventures. Thanks to Amber for letting me victimise her and making her my BFF for life in this fic. Your a great friend:D Thanks for your good hearted reviews:D and people who are taking this seriously

**P-A-R-O-D-Y **

**P-A-R-O-D-Y**


	4. Pok34 Fqace

A/N: Thanks again you wonder folk:) Thanks to Amber for laughing at my major OOC-ness... I have decided to add little coments every few sentences. Just for shits and giggles. I forgot to say but OD is One Direction

S/N: OMGZ GYS LIKE STOP FLAMIGN MA STOY. Tankz again Ambz 4 ideas and other sift lyk dat. If ya flam yr a tree huger. SOZ I KEEP SAYING I INSTEED OF ICE.

Ice woke up in her sack of potatoes (_Ebony sleeps in a coffin, In the prep version she sleeps in a bed but in my version she sleeps in a potato sack)_ I pulled off my OD tee that I used as a nighty and pulled a lacy custom made bra and lacy panties and then I put on a Katy Perry tee and then a pair of short shorts that just about covered my butt. Desiree was also with me and was wearing an ETF tee and a long lacy black skirt with fishnets and boots, did I mention she was skinny enough to be anorexic. It was stormy and sunny so I was happy (Iz f4got to mention tat Ice is a vamp/wolf/ armadillo) I had my companion, Ziggy. He was a magical Gecko who beamed rainbows from his eyes. (_I also have a Gecko who shits rainbows.. -_-_) Desiree and me were speaking about anime.

"OMG You were talking to Tintin," Desiree exclamed.

"Yeah so," I said

"DO YOU LIKE HIM," She shouted

"No way," I scoffed.

Just then I saw Tintin.

"Hi," He said (_I hate hate hate this!)_

"Hey," I sad flirtly.

"I was wondering if you wanted to see OD with me," Tintin asked (_Oh my days! Tintin likes One Direction.. I need to cry)_

I...Gasped..

**A/N: **LE GASP! I hope you are enjoying this as much as I enjoy writing this


	5. LoveGame

A/N: Haha I love writing this!:D Amber had given me a few ideas so cheers friend:) Check her out Its Desiree Von Wolf. She's awesome:D

S/N:

On the night of the concert, Ice wore a white tank top with pink trouser cuffed shorts. I put on a pair of black platforms. I didn't wear anything to cover my beautiful hairless legs because it would be a shame not to show them off. I put on lots of fake tan and lots of make up. Red lipstick and lots of eyeliner and then bright red nail polish. I felt happy so I didn't slit my wrists and watched Red Dwarf(_She is destroying good things). _ She drank some swan blood and then she was ready for the concert.

I walked outside because my armadillo senses were tingling. (_Spiderman references aswell). _I saw Tintin, He was dressed in the same usual outfit. (_I will have nightmares if I turn Tintin into a One Direction fanboy)._ The concert was only a few miles away so we walked there, smoking and taking a hell lot of herion (_That's what made Tintin so sexual, We should keep him off the fucking drugs .) _

At the concert we mosh pit (_Thats what you do at a One Direction concert because their soooo mental Sarcasm__**)**_

Baby you light up my world like nobody else_**  
><strong>_The way that you flip you're hair gets me overwhelmed_**  
><strong>_But when you smile at the ground, it ain't hard to tell_**  
><strong>_You don't know _**  
><strong>_Oh oh_**  
><strong>_You don't know you're beautiful!__Sang Harry (_Sooo bad...)_

"OMGZ HARRY IS SOOO FUCKING HOT!" I screamed as Harry filled the stage with his voice.

Suddenly Tintin looked sad.

"Whats wrong?" I asked then I quickly caught on.

"Well I don't like him more than YOU," I said

"Really," (_no) _He said putting his arm all around me protectively and stuff

"Yeah," I said, thinking of armadillo's

The night went on awesomely (_isn't a word). _ We got OD Tees and drank some acahole (_Tintin with drugs and drink is what made him OOC). _We then rolled (_because crawling is overrated) _to the car and instead of taking me to my appartment, He took me to... his appartment.


	6. I LIKE IT ROUGHT! Mind fuck!

A/N: Emm ... Please don't be angry with this chapter because.. its soo OOC. I don't intead on doing the whole plot(IF there is one) to my Immortal but... none the less... try and enjoy this.. Mary Sue's don't need well thought out M rated scenes because .. they just don't ok?

S/M: OMFG SOP FLAMIN U BUNK OF TREE HUGRS. Anyways, THAAAMKKKS TOO AMBZ:D nLOVE YOU (EWWW NOT THAT WY PEVERTS)

"TINTIN," I shouted angerly at him, "WHAT THE SMEGGING HELL DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING,"

Tintin didn't answer (_because he learnt how to drive suddenly and had an ace car.) _but he stopped the car and got out of it.

"What the Smeg," I shouted getting out of the car, "What the smegging hell are you doing,"

"Ice," He asked.

"WHAT," I snapped

He leaned in extra close (_ I feel really bad for Tintin after I write this). _I stared into his eyes and fow sorrow and evilness (_SOO... OOC... PLEASE... KILL... ME...) (__**In the words of Amber: "**_**n****ow excuse me while I go kill myself**_**) **_I didn't feel mad anymore.

Just then.. Tintin and I kissed passionatly (MWHAHA DID YOU SEE TAT COMIN) (_…... You have no idea). _We made out on his bed. (_Remember that she could be the sister of Ebony so she could be a witch) _We took of our clothes and I even took off my bra and then (_Tintin grabbed a large collection of Lego and they began build a lego house) _He put his thingy (_Lego man) _into my you-know-what (_Lego house) _and we did it for the first time. (_They began playing with lego in the nude)_

"OH OH ," I screemed getting an orgasm (_I also get orgasms by playing with lego in the nude) _My body got all warm then...

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUXKERS,"

It was... Captain Haddock.

* * *

><p>Tintin: I don't know what do say.<p>

ZoSanFreakX: Don't, It doesn't need words

Desiree Von Wolf: You really out do yourself Megan. I want to kill myself

Captain Haddock: I'll come along.

ZoSanFreakX: I still love you guys.

Tintin: Ok I forgive you

ZoSanFreakX: REEAAAALLLYYYY :D

Tintin:... No, You put my image to shame!


	7. JUDASSSSSSSSSSS! ! !

A/N: I made a mistake in the last chapter... Yeah not much to say. Thanks again to Amber who gives me my ideas on how to make this painful:D

S/N: OMGZ GUS SHUT IP AN FIK OFF. Thanks AMBZ!

Captian Haddocky made us get dressed. He kept shouting really mean stuff!

"You ludacris fools," (_I had to keep that in!_) He shouted at us.

For some reason I started crying tears of tango down my face. Tintin comforted me. Also for no explained reason, Thompson and Thomson and that old guy from the origanal cartoon (_Poor Professor). _They looked angry because Captain Haddock had texted them all on his Iphone. (_Iphone? Yeah right)_

"They were having sexual intercorse when Ice is only 15" (_OHHHHH DRAMA! UNDER AGED SEX.. wait.. she's 15.)_ Haddock said angry

"Why would you do that you Mediocer Dunces," Both Thompson and Thomson said (_OH YOU FUCKING TELL HER!)_

"How dare you," The old man (_CALCULUS_) said

And then Tintin shiercked, "BECUASE I LOVE HER," (_Gasp)_

Everyone looked like dinosaurs.. Nah jokes they looked angry. Captain Haddock looked at me.

"Well you should go," He said, I left Tintin to do so.

When I got home I got into my PJ's and then brushed my teeth. My armidilo senses were tingling again so I looked outside and Tintin was there singing "Lego House" by ES (_PUN_) I was flattered even though he wasn't meant to be there. We hugged and kissed and he relectingly left.

**A/N:** Not much to say really. Yepp. Thanks for the reviews.


	8. baddddddksisisss

**A/N; ** Thanks again for the funny reviews. There is slash in this chapter because no Mary Sue story is complete without slash.

**S/N:OMGZ LIKE GYS I WON'T RITE ANOFER CHAP TILL I GT 1000 REWES.**

Tintin and I held hands. (_Like last night didn't happen)_ Today I was wearing a holiter black dress with lacy on it. It was short and it showed my white panties. I was wearing loooods of fake tan. We walked to his room. You know, Armidilos are funny creatures, Anyways We went to his room and locked the door.

We started "frenching" passionatly and then we took off each others clothes. He put his throbbing man thing into my thingy and we HAD SEX!1111!11!

"TINTIN," I screamed beginning to get an orgasm till I noticed a tattoo (_Tintin is really iinto this bad boy image isn't he WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW HUH?). _ It was on his arm and I hadn't seen it before. It was a black love heart with an arrow. Inside it it said... Haddock?

"YOUR FUCKING BASTARD!111111!," I screamed getting up

"NO! Ice you don't underdstand," Tintin pleded but I knew too much.

"OMGZ You Proberly have, like aids," I said getting dressed and he did the same. I ran out to Captain Haddocks apartment and bashed in. He was having a convo with Thompson and Thomsonand the old guy (_*face palm* __CALCULUS)_

"HADDOCKY YOU MUTHER FUCKER!," I screamedd


	9. FANFIC competition

Do you think your funny

**Reader nods**

Do you read this story and add funny comments now and then and think "I'M SO FUNNY"

**Reader nods with enthusiasm**

Do you want people to read those coments and think "HAHAHAHA"

**Reader bangs head off table from excitement**

**NOW THEY CAN**

I am holding a competition for someone who can basically commentate this story. I am not trying to boost my ego or anything but I want to basicaly see what the reader thinks as he/she reads this story.

HERES WHAT YOU GOT TO DO!

Take the descrption of Ice on the second chapter. Paste it into whatever word you use and add your own comments to whenever you feel its nessasery to do so.

Once your done, save it and send it to me through docx or pm. Out of the ones I get I will judge who is the funniest.

NOW GO FORTH!


	10. Americano

A/N: Have I ruined any childhoods yet? Thanks for reading and posting funny reviews.

S/N:OMGZ LYKE GUS SHUT DA FUK UP KK

Everyone in the room was stairing at me.

"Megan- I mean Ice you don't understand," Tintin screamed upsetly

Desiree was with me. She smiled understandly at me. Here is her backstory, Her mummy and daddy were both into Harry Potter and then some Twilight fans (I fuking ate twlit and hary poter) attacked every Harry Potter fan.. Tragic ain't it.

"What is it you desire you ridlous dim witt," (_Don't you just love the insults in "My Immortal")_said Thompson and Thomson together

"I cant believe you cheated on me with him," I screamed

and everyone …... gasped

**Randomly Changes to Tintin's POV**

I don't know why Ice is so mad with me. It was pretty much made obvious tat I was with Captain Haddock from the start but he broke my heart. He dumped me for the opera bitch (_Bianca__** *facepalm***_**) **, a fucking preppy little slut. We are just friends now. He went through some problems and now he's back to normal.

**POV Change**

"But I don't go out with him anymore," Tintin screamed at me

"Yeah right, Fuck you," I screamed running out into the outside world


	11. Speechless

A/N:I'm enjoying this. I am planning on doing the whole of My Immortal because when people do spoofs of my Immortal they get up to here and ... stop! Anyways enjoy. Read chapter 9 for the competition information

S/N:OMGZ Soz Ambz for takin tha posta of Edd Sheran but he's A FUKIN HOTTIE. stop flamin jut cuz ya'll gelous of ma

I was so mad and sad. I began to cry.

Just then a horrible man came in on a broom. He was uglyy as fuck. It was... Colonel Sponsz (_He got a broom... just because?)_

"NO," I screamed and Colonel Sponsz shouted "Dumbledora the explora." (If some1 gt da ref I luv ya) I couldn't get away

"ARMIDILO POWERS ACTIVATED!" I turned into a 233242 ft tall armidilo and knocked him off his broom and he started crying. I'm a sadist so I laughed... and laughed... and laughed... and laughed... and stopped. I went back to human form.

"Ice," Colonel Sponsz said getting up "THOU MOST KILL'UTH TIN'FER" (Fact: My brother calls Tintin Tin'ifer)

"NO," I screamed

He gave me a wond "No thou must kill your loved one or I will kill you,"

"OMGZ HOW DID YA KNOW," I whispered...

Colonel Sponsz gave me the OMGZ-I-need-a-sandwhich look. "I haz telakinze or however its spelt" He got his broom and flew away.

Just then Tintin came from the woods

"Hi," He saaid all desprested in shit.

"Are you okay?" Iz asz

"No," He said

"Soz for thinking you were cheating on me,"

"Tis Alright," Tintin said happy again. We went back to his appartment to have you-know-what.


	12. Marry The Night

A/N: Wooohhh... Wooohhh... I'm enjoying this! I kinda regret this chapter though... You'll see why

S/N: OMGZ LIKE AMBZ SORRY FER FECK SAKE YOU Ddn't HELP E WITH da chapter you virch

I was so fucking scared about Colonel Sponsz. I was upset but I went to tbe rehearasls my band called pointless information. In the band is Me, Desiree, Tintin, Captian Haddock, Thompson and Thomson and the old guy. This time Tintin and Haddock were away depressed so instead. we sang "Marry the Night" By Lady Gaga (I LUVS Ldy GAGA) I burst out in tears.

"Ice are you alright? Desire asked

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK?" I screaned at her, " Colonel Sponsz wants me to kill Tintin,"

Suddenly and for no apparent reason Tintin appears out of nowhere

"Why didn't you tell me," He shouted, "How could you! You stupid slag,"

I started to cry and so did he, then he ran out crying.

We practiced for one ore hour until Haddock ran in crying.

"YOU SLUTTY POTATO WHAT HAVE YYOU DONE!" He screamed at me "Tintin has commited suicide,"


	13. TEEEDSTH

A/n: I'm enjoying the reviews you guys give me. Cheers people!

s/n: AMBER WHERE IS MY TINTIN PLUSHIE?

OMGZ I sacreemed, Desiree ryed to cofort me but I told er to fiuk off. I slit my wrists fo time and then went home and cried listening to N-dubz. Suddenly I saw an image in my head. It was Cornal Sponzza … He had Tintin... in bondage

Anyway I went to the docters abouut the slit wrists. At my hopible bed, thompson and thomos turned up.

"Ice we need to talk," They said,

"wtf is tintin," I asked

One of them took out a ball of flames...

"Now Ice, to find tintin, You must look into the flames (GEDDIT)" One of the twins said

Anyway I got better and I went to Desiree's appartment and we spoke and shit. I was wearing a holister jumper with a short skirt.

"You look Kawii," Desireee said

"So do you." I said despressed

At my appartment, I slit my wrists again and I walked outside. I saw Haddocky. He looked all depreessed because of what happened to Tintin.

"We need to save Tintin," He said

I used a spell that my sister Ebony D'arkness Demtrie Raven Way but our parents we're like imbreaded orr something to thats why i have probleme anyways She showed me and we were... in Sponnnaaas lair


	14. ELECTRIC CAPEAL

S/N: FUK YA IF YA FLAM. THIS CHAP IS XTREMLY SCRAY

Me and Haddocy tried to find cornal spanzzzne. We found him tortuing tintin.

"VAMPIRE POWERS ACTIVATED," I said running to him... but I face planted the floor cuz im so clumdy

"Megan," Colonel Sponsz said looking at me with lovey dovey eyes.. " I loe you please let me have sex with ya," he said "Infount of your bf"

"EHHH NO," I screamed and stabbed him.

Us three ran away back to our appartments. Me and Tintin went to tintin's and we started to strip. He had a six and a big you-know-what. I began to sob

"Waz wrong," Tintin asked

"I'm too beautiful," I shouted and got up and started adressing again "Cornal ssppansoj so wants to have sex with me and Haddock likes me. I just wanna be with you. Why couldn't the author of this Mary sue story make me less beautiful. I'm good at two many things. "

"Wait Ice," He said getting up

"No I wanna be plain like the others," I said as I started to run "IT'S A CURSE!"


	15. you and I

A/N: Wow. Thanks guys for the reviews. My phone kept vibrating in class because of all your emails so thanks guys:DD

S/N: SUF UP KK? FANGS AMBZ!

"ICE ICE BABY WAIT," Tintin shouted as he ran after her.

"STFU You can hav sxx with captin haddocly," I shouted angryly at him and ran off to my appartment. I opened the pink door with Ladi gag on it. I ran in and cried listening toKAti Perri ET and sang along while drinking blood, eating fresh meat anf arrmidilo fod. I cried until the bleeding stopped and read a deprinsin bok called twshite and then watched two & a haft men thinking about how hott charlie sheen is.

I put on a cheacked holister t-shirt with haft the buttons undone because my boodies donot fit in and then I put on a short black mini skirt which shows my pink lacy see through panties. I then heard someone outside my window and it was... Guess who... No really gues... Alright it …. was... TINTIN! BUM BUM BUUMMMMMMMMM.

"ICE I LOVE YOU," He shouted. "I don't care what no one sayss. You are the most beautiful girl I have ever mmeet. Before I met you I was only interested in men and becaause of you I am now bisexual," He said then he began to sing "That's what makes you beautiful," by 1D. It was … wow..

"Omg," I said almost away to burst into tears of happiness. "I love you," I said and we kissed like in tha movies bt more amazing than that. Peple clappd because me and tintin are amazing togteher. We saw a ldy Gag concert poster and we knew we wrre going to it.


	16. Simmor BOY

S/N: AMBZ YU FUKIN BITVH YA MEN TA HELP ME FUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFU Fangs Lauren 4 bein ma new bfff!

We happily went to the concert wer Lady Gag was playing. We ran to the frount of tha stag to ….. MOSHPIT!. She was playing "Love Game" I was so happi. Lady Gag was so much hotter in the concert and tintin agreed. I could see him gettin a erectoion over her but it didn't matter cuz she was aking my bbody hot inside. Us tree should haf a threesum sometine. I was wearing a boob top that barely covered my breasts and a pair of shorts tha said Nom on them. You may think I'm a slut but im not. Me and tintin were frenching pessivly. Suddenly Lady ga pulld off her mask and it was... …... …... . . .. . . . . . .. . . . …... . . . . Cornla ssponnze

"WTF, Tintin I am never going to a concert wif yo ever," I shouted angrylu. "Not after last time,"

"Ohh when we had... you know," He said shylu

"Yeah,"

"Oh np I hav a guy for tat,"

"OMF Another man," I shouted angrly again, "Are ou cheating on me agan

"NO I swar not," He got down on his knees and sang "Bloody Mary"

I was flatered cuz its nt evne a single.

MY BFFFF Lauren Twlight New Moon Eclipse Breaking dawn Sure Woman Consisionar shoes high tops rayman iponce star wars family guy my sims kingdom THEE smith came over to my place and flipped her long oak colored har. She was pretty and had supersta looks. She was wearing a holister jogger, a holisterjumper and a holister top. She was skinny as fuck.

"Oh BTW that bitch Desiree has left town cuz she's so minnyy that tey chucked er out," She said

"Cool I hope she dies," ice Laughed

"I killed her and then Snowy kinda had it with her body." Lauren shrugged.

"Kawai," I replied as we began to watch Alan Carr Spexy beast.

"OH btw I need to find clothes for the KP concert tonight," I said

"YEEEY Shopping," Lauren said.

"What about Holister,"

"Nope," Lauren shrugged

"WHAT,"" I screamed

"I found an awesome shop," Lauren said happily

The shop was near by and the sales person was like hotter than Edd Shearn but no but yea but no but yrah. He gave me a few dresses. "I only give this to babes,"

I blushed "You think we're babes,"

"Of course, You wouldn't believe how many ugly slags come in here, Like Desiree," He said and I chucled.

"What do you think," I came out wearing a baby blue short seethrough dress with lacy coming out of it.

"Wow you look amazing," The sales person said "I'll ive you it for three. Only cuz it's hot on you, You going to the Katy Perry Concert tonight,"

"Yeah btw just though i'll let you know but my name is Ice Hot Cold Water Dance Magic Love,"

"My names Cornal.. I mean Steve," He said calmly, " I might see you tonigh,"

"Yeah I don't think so since Im goning with tintin so ya," I said beefore I show Hoddackky.

"ITS SERIOUS,"He said grabbing me and Lauren and dragging us to the flat


	17. MONSTER 1 32!

A/n: Wow.. I didn't expect this to have so much attention! Cool Stuff. You guys should check out my other Tintin fic if you want "Proper fanfiction" and not a parody but don't stop reaading this!:D

s/n: OMGZ GYS STOP FLAMIN UZ YER ALL SPUZZING MONKEYS. I BET YOU DN'T LIK EDD SHERN. AMBZ I'M SO SORRY PLEASE HELP ME111!1!

That guy gave us lots more clothess becaue he said he was into fashion because he wass obviously bisexual. Haggock kept trying to get us back to the appartment. "GO AWAY," I shouted. Anyway Desiree ccame and Haggicky went away.

"Yo you look awesome," Desiree said

"So do you," I sighed because Desiree is really pretty. She was wearing a black and blood red lacy gothic dress with lacy all around it with fish nets and big thigh high boots.

"So are you going to the concert with Tintin?" She asked

"Yeah," I said

"Cool I'm going with chang," She said happily. Welll anyway Tintin and Chang came. They were looking so hot and I could tell they thought the same about us. Desiree and Chang made a cute couple because Chang looked kinda gothic but Me and Tintin were still the cutest. Lauren was going by herself and was going to meet us there. We got there in Chang's convertible. When we got there, We did pot, coko, herion and mocked randommers. Me and Tintin made out allot.

Katy Perri was the most sexiestwoman alive (I'm not a lesbian) and tintin agreed. I could see him gettin a erectoion over her but it didn't matter cuz she was aking my bbody hot inside. Us tree should haf a threesum sometine.. She had purple hair with pink tips and she was wearing a cupcake tee and a mini skirt We ran to the frount of tha stag to ….. MOSHPIT!. She was playing "ET" I was so happi.I was wearing a boob top that barely covered my breasts and a pair of shorts tha said Nom on them. You may think I'm a slut but im not. Me and tintin were frenching pessivly. Suddenly Kati Perri pulld off her mask and it was... …... …... . . .. . . . . . .. . . . …... . . . . Cornla ssponnze

"YOU DURNOSAURS," (Shot oot to Keren Dornnoo.) shouted Cornal Sponnnzzzeeeassads "I told you to kill Tintin Ice. Now I will kill you and Ice,"

Suddenly someone came in to help us,,, It was,,,,,,, Captin Hoooddockkky


	18. The EDGE of GlllOORA

S/N:

The next day I spent sleeping crying and slitting my writs.. Ya know the usual. I walked to Tintin's appartment. I heard someone crying and I bushed in and it was Tintin. He was crying all hot and angdty while smoking pot.

"Wats rong?" I asked

"No one fucking understands me," He said, his eyes ggoing all ukey and it was so cute. I love when guys are all uke. I flipped my long hair and pounted at what I had heard

"What about me?" I said pissed off

"But..Ttt.. Ice," He sobbed

"You fucking bastard," I screamed running out.

"ICE," He sobbed even louder.

I ran to my appartment and slammed the door and cryed tears of iron bru. I put on Eminem and started to cry while smoking POT. Sudeenly Thompson and Thomos appeared.

"FUCK," I shouted dropping my pot.

"What are you wearing for the concert," They asked

"OMG you know who Lilly Alien is?" I shouted

"No but evertone is going," They said, Anyway Tintin has a suprise there,"


	19. Homey Moneny

A/N: Competition is still open so please please please can you enter for the LULZ. Check out chapter 9 for the information.

S/N:OMGZ TANKS TO AMBS! SUT UP FUKIN FLAMERS.

I wondered what ny surise was. I put on a see through lady gaga t-sirt and a black leather skirt that showed my arse and a black pair of was once again another concert but it was Lily Alen. I didn't slit my wrists and watched som Russel Howard. I ut on some pink make up and fondation while I was waiting. I went outside because once again my armidilo senses were tingling. I went outside but it was... Captain Haddock

"WTF is Tintin," I asked

"HE;s being a boring bastard and not going so for no reason except the authors own I am going to take you there,"

"Cool," I said before getting in his car. It was lik the carr from the super baassses video by Nicki manjiius

We went to the Lily Alen concert

Me and Capton Haddocky started making out to Lily Alien. I looked at her,She is so retty it was giving me a female erection., I heard some crying and it was... Guesss, No rea,lly FUCKING GUESS! It was Tintin


	20. BADDDDD ROMCN KWC

S/N: OMGZ (Inserts random rant about flamers and Amber being my best friend ever.)

Me and Captain Haaddock ran after Tintin where we ended up following him to his appartment.

"Tintin are you alright?" I asked

"NO WHAT the fuck do you think bitch," Tintin said pissed off. He started to cry suicidal and I was scared he would commit suicide.

"It's kk," Captian Halddomck said, "I will make him feel better,"

"You mean you'll have sex with him," I said before getting an idea "How about a threesome,"

We started "frenching" passionately and taking each others clothes off until we were fully nude. Then (_Tintin took out his star wars action figures) _They put there you-know-what's (_Luke Skywalker and R2D2 action figures) _into my woman thingy (_BATTLESHIP) _and WE HAD A 3som.

"OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OHOH OH OH OH" I said getting a small orgasm and then fell back asleep and Tintin and Haddockuy continued having it with each other. I had a vision... of an … adventure!


	21. GOverfcmentg Hohker

A/N: Hey sorry I have just been busy with my other fic "Animal I have become"

s/N: BLAH BLAH BLAH FLAMERS BLAH BLAH BLAH AMBZ BLAH BLAH BLAH LADY LAGAGA

I wokes up to see... Tintin, Captain Haddock, Desiree and Lauren.

"OMZ GUYS WHAT RE YA DOING IN MA HOUSE," I whispereed.

Desiree was wearing a tight black poofy gothic dress that she had ripped so it showed of all her clearage. Lauren was wearing a short mini skirt from holister and a pink jumber that said holister across it. Light (Who is Angel) was wearing a holister joggers and holister sweatshirt with holister jacket.

"Ice Something I really fciksed up," Tintin said

"Alright but I need to get dressed," I said

"Nah you look sexy like that," Tintin said all sexual/

"Kk," I said following them.

We came to see the Thompjon twins.

"Ice tjey said, "You are the only one who can stop Spojnze from killing everyone,"

Tintin, Captain Haddock, Desiree,Light and Lauren and I... Gasped

A/N: Sorry for the short chapter but I might end this pretty soon as I am too busy with upcoming fanfics.


	22. HaIr

I was sitting in my appartment with Desiree,Lauren and light taking about boys and how hot some of them where. Desiree, Lauren and Light were so prtty but they were nothing compared to me because I am an actual stunner din't ya think. We heard arguing outside our door ans we ran out to see Haddockuyhb and Tintin having an agruement.

"NO I wanna talk to her," Tintin sais

"She doesn't even like you,2 Captain hadicky dssaid.

"No you bastard she loves me," Tintin said jumougnn on him (ew not n tha way) and started to botch fight with him. Nododu stopped them. I just laughed... and laughted... and laughed... abd laughed... and then stopped a man came in a broom it was... sponaxze.

"Thou failed to kill Tintin," He said, I shall kill all of you.

I screamed and woke up realising it was a vison, I was still with Desiree Lauren and Light.

"OMGZ Gurl Whats up," Light said

"I Had a weird vision," I said

"Lets go to Becky," Lauren said "She knows about visions,"


	23. Schinbe

A/N: Sorry that I haven't been updating much but I have another fanfic on the go but I was wondering if I should also do a parody of "Cupcakes" The infamous My Little Pony fanfic. It wouldn't be as horrifying as that but it will be more of a humour and a spoof and it would be in the Tintin Fandom. Please read cupcakes and tell me what you think?

We walkeed to da school becky woks at. Shes a cool friend and she wears everthing holister so she's so cool. It was jst afta school so we were walkin to her offiec

"Hwoo Beckey," Me, Desiree, Lauren and Light said.

"Hey,"

"becky I'm having scary visions I said all scared and stuff

She suddenly pulled out a ball for no eason

"What do ya saee," She asked

"I see... a jungle,"

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. It was Tintin and for once he had his quff down (A/n: Please don't find my home and shoot me)

"I need to leave," I said getting out.

"Alright bye," The girls said

I went with Tintin and we went away

A/N: I know I've been quite boring lately but writing "Animal I have become" is taking up allot of time


	24. Bowm Euy

S/N: I DUNO WHY I BOTHER OMG GOTZ IDEAZ FOR YA. TIZ A SOTY CALLED CUPCAKES.

We got back to Tintin's appartment and stated playing Lady Gag and Eminnen and Kettir Perri

Hi! My name is (what?)  
>My name is (who?)<br>My name is Slim Shady  
>Hi! My name is (huh?)<br>My name is (what?)  
>My name is Slim Shady<br>Sang Eminimes sexy voice.

"What did Becky tell you," Tintin asked

"That I wouldn'y know my results till tomorrow," I said getting out a roll of pot and so did Tintin and we smoked pot. We then took each other's clothes off and my black leather thong off and my latex bra off. I took off his boxers and then he put his throbbing you know what into my lady bit.

"Oh Tintin," I screamed having and orgasm and then I fell asleep. I had a dream that I was running through the forest and I was running from …. Sponnzzes

"OMGZ," I screamed waking up

"What's wrong babe" Tntin asked

I started to cry


	25. Finale!

A/N: Sorry guys, I have lost my muse for this fic and I have to round it off now. IN THE STYLE OF MUSIC!

The song is a parody of "Finale, don't feed the plants" from Little shop of Horrors.

S/N: OPMGZ I LIEK GT A LIEF NW DO NED TO FINISH FIC, SOZ GUTYS

Ice ran out the house, TIntin followed behind.

"Wat is wrong? Tintin asked MEgan

"Em. Who's Megan?" Ice asked

"Woops, Sorry ZoSanFreakX's real name is Megan," Tintin shurrged

"Oh Ok," Ice said and and more, Haddocksiugwhdy came out of the flat and ran after Ice too.

"WHy is eveyone following me," Ice said confissed

"Well, Megan is getting Lazy and is starting to like Hetalia world Series and Axis Powers more than Tintin so she is running out of idea's for this fic," Csaption Haddocky explained.

"Really? Do you think we should stop,"

"Properblu... How about we sing," Tintin surrgested

"OKAY!"

XXXXXXXXXX

Megan Kerr (Ice) who appears to be 13 years old approches with her four best friends Amber (Desiree) Lauren (Played Lauren) Becky (Just Becky) and Angel (Light). They look sad from all the flamers on their attempts of fanfiction

Megan, Amber, Lauren, Becky and Angel:

Subsequent to the Fanfic you have just read  
>Similar fanfics in cities across the globe<br>Fanfics which bore a striking resemblance  
>To the ones you have just read to the end<p>

Subsequent to the fanfic you have just Read,  
>Unsuspecting girls from UK to Japan<br>Made the acquaintance of a new breed of OC  
>And got sweet-talked into feeding it good traits.<p>

Thus the OC's worked their terrible will  
>Finding girls who would feed them their fill<br>And the sues proceeded to grow and grow- and grow  
>And begin what they came here to do<br>Which was essentially to  
>Ruin Naruto<p>

and One Piece  
>And Hetalia<p>

and Tintin  
>and Your favourite Fandom<p>

Suddenly all the characters from The Adventures of Tintin appeared, They were back to normal! As if Ice had never came into the fandom

Tintin, Captain Haddock, Professor Calculus, Colonel Sponsz Megan,Amber,Lauren,Becky and Angel:  
>They may offer you good reviews<br>favourites and story alerts  
>But whatever they offer you<br>Don't make a sue

Captain Haddock:  
>They may offer you lots of big fans<p>

Colonel Sponsz:  
>"Please update" and "This is good"<p>

Professor Calculus  
>But whatever they offer you<p>

Tintin:  
>Don't make a sue!<p>

Look out! Here comes Ice  
>Look out!<p>

Megan:  
>Here I come for you!<p>

Tintin, Captain Haddock, Professor Calculus, Colonel Sponsz Megan,Amber,Lauren,Becky and Angel:  
>Hold your hat and hang on to your account<br>Something's coming to ruin fanfiction  
>If we fight it we've still got a chance<br>But whatever they offer you  
>Though they're seem so liable<br>Please, whatever they offer you  
>Don't make a sue!<p>

Tintin:  
>We'll have tomorrow<p>

Tintin, Captain Haddock, Professor Calculus, Colonel Sponsz Megan,Amber,Lauren,Becky and Angel:  
>Don't make a sue!<p>

XXXX

Everyone in the Tintin world had gotten back tomorow as Megan deleted the fanfic from all the bad reviews and death threats she had gotten. All the fans of Tintin were back to writing their avarge fanfiction. Megan learned from her bad fanfic and wrote some kick ass Hetalia fanfiction.

FIN!

A/N: Thank you so much for these good reviews. I did not think for a moment that this would get so much reviews. Thank you! I might write a squeal since Tara wrote a squeal to "My Immortal"


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